Alive and Ticking

Last monday the 12Th of June life took a big turn for me......I had a few drinks.....Decided to go out and play guitar at an open mic nite a a local bar here in Ypsilanti Mi.....I love to play but seldom play out I just thought what the hell.....backing up to staurday nite I went out on my first date date in over two years......As I am still in love with a women from my past....Anyway things went good and I got what I was looking for.......so I played Guitar and sang for her....She seemed to really like me and my music and talent in general......Back to Monday......Maybe that is why I played out that nite.....As you can tell from my blog I am Bi polar.....I take a drug called depakote that sometimes makes me real sick......well for a while now I had stopped taking it and started drinking alittle to keep myself level....Im bi polar manic high which means if I do not keep myself down some what I get real racey......After all I did think I was Jesus at one time.....so I got it down to drinking a beer or two with a shot about 2 to 3 times a week just enough to keep me level and not go off the deep end....what I mean by that is drinking to much or having another manic High......Which by the way to me is not a bad thing but everyone else freaks cause Im like the UPS man on Mad TV.......So to get back to monday nite....I went to the bar....signed up first to play.....I thought an quick in and out 3 songs and Im gone......This is what really happened.....I had a few drinks at home....Kinda like a liquid courage thing.......I had a few drinks at the bar before I went on.......I played my songs and did rather well I thought....People came up and told me hey you sounded good....and Blah Blah Blah.......I dont really care for bars all that much seeing Ive worked them almost all my life.......But as people gave me the praise I thought what the hell Ill hang out alittle more...So I did.....some how it got later and later and I got drunker and drunker....At one point I left not sure why without my guitar......Had to go back and get it...And I did.......I found myself at a local party store trying to buy alittle more booze to finish off what I thought was a good nite....Mind you I was on foot the whole time....The party store would not sell to me......Now the nite goes blank..........My next memorie is a white room......Peace Love stillness serenity....Kinda like a waiting room...with a big warm brite white Light....I started for the white Light moving floating towards it...It felt like the right thing to do.....In the back of my mind I kept hearing my name over and over ever so faintly.......Jerry......Jerry.......Jerry...Getting louder as I moved toward the white Light....So I turned to see who was calling my name.......All at once like traveling at the speed of light I was slammed back into my body......Pain....pain ...and even worse Pain......Turns out I was face down on the pavement......Covered in blood......Broke both my upper and lower jaw......Ripped my nose off my face.......Knocked out almost all my teeth......I was In a Biking Accident...I still have no memorie of going home and getting on my bike....But somehow my guitar made it home......Now Im in the hospital Fighting for my life.......They had to cut a hole in my throat so I could breath........They had to rebuild my nose from basically nothing......They done one skin graph so far......I had two metal jaws now as I broke and shattered what I had before.....They are wired shut.....Ive lost 20 pounds in less then 2 weeks...Great summer diet I guess......(joke)......Im now recovering just fine.....The worst part of the whole nite is when my sister looked at me before they really did anything at the hospital....I knew I was in trouble Ive never seen that look and hope I dont ever again....I said my goodbyes and I love yous to her before they took me in to operate......I prayed Oh lord if I die let it be while Im out on the table I cant take anymore pain.....He spared me......Its been over a week now and I can do for myself again with help of course....My family has been wonderful and understanding beyond belief.....Thank you Father for picking this family for me.......Im truely Blessed.......Im going home tomorrow to be with my kittie I miss so much......Ive been staying with my wonderful sister since saturday......Both my brothers flew up from florida to be by my side thru this ruff time......My other sister has been working the side lines for me putting together appointments and such and taking care of my kittie for me.....My Mother......Well What can I say about my mother that would let you know how I feel about her.......Love Real Love Like the John Lennon song......and the rest of the people in this game we call life that have helped out I cant begin to thank you all even though I wish I could shake the hand or better yet hug each person that helped save my life.......To the Father The Son and The Holy Ghost Ive been humbled with the grace and love that you always offer.....The gift of life........I have a long road of recovery while they rebuilt me and put me all back together......I do offer my deepest sorrows to anyone Ive hurt........Im happy to be here to be able to write this out.....They say I have no brain damage......I thank you again Oh Lord for this chance to get it right....I shall try harder...I shall pay attenion....I shall always Love my fellow man and family.......I will be getting a new face......I will be getting all new teeth........It shall be a long road to travel but I can say Im happy to be here to walk it........My heart mind and soul are becoming connected as never before......I have to thank the Lord above for teaching me what grace is all about....Someday I hope to be in that white room again heading home for now Ill spend my days being happy for the gift Ive been given.......I hope this will reach just one of you and help someone......This is just a blog but it is so much more its my truth......Peace and Love and Thanks........Jerry